The Commish is not just one single person, it is a real and true thought experiment of many different entities. That's also why the Commish has no preferred pronouns and you
can call the Commish anything and anyway you want. Makes no difference to the Commish. The Commish lives in the minds of all tennis professionals, tennis players, tennis organizers, everyone with a clear and logical thought pocess.
By The Commish
Q. I’m a front-facing leader of a tennis organization, and a pesky journalist asked me for some time. I want to know how I can appear transparent without actually answering questions about how decisions were made and why they were made. Please help.
Obviously, you have ascended to the level of your incompetence, but don’t fret, Commish is here to help. I recommend keeping the interview short, like say 30 minutes. Also, be sure to get all the questions ahead of time, you can prepare greasy and vague answers that sound competent. Try to say all the ‘right things’, like “I appreciate the opportunity to come on and explain, and I like your passion for the game”.
Don’t allow any live questioning, those are very dangerous because they can expose your lack of preparation, lack of knowledge of the issue, or lack of caring about the people negatively affected by your policies. I hope this helps.
Photo by Michal Matlon on Unsplash
Q. I just attended The Tennis Summit and now my brain is filled with 9 steps to the best serve from one speaker, the ONE big secret of the serve, but it’s not one of the 9 from the other guy, 5 other keys about the same shot from another speaker, and a 19 slide presentation on the forehand. How can I best bring it all together in my mind? Technique Addict
Stop. You can’t. Try to forget most of what you have heard. Zero in on one speaker, work on one thing. I’m guessing they didn’t tell you that. The current level of addiction on the fascination with technical teaching is the opioid crisis of tennis. It’s killing players.
Try this instead: play tennis. Enjoy your strength, find one mistake you make the most often, and learn to eliminate that one mistake by replacing that one shot with a better shot. Master it. Move on to the next biggest mistake. Focus mainly though on your strengths, use your strengths in new ways, add a subtle adjustment, mix up your spins and speeds a little on your strength. Mystify people, make THEM think something is wrong with THEIR technique. When they ask you how you do that say “I don’t know”.
Photo by Zoe Reeve on Unsplash
Q. I’m a compulsive gambler, and I love tennis, but I can’t watch it because I know that tennis is the most bet on sport in the world, and now announcers are encouraging people to bet. What should I do?
You're screwed, don’t watch tennis. I barely watch it, boycott it in fact. Spend more time playing, the best things in life are free.
Photo by Chris Kendall on Unsplash
Q. I’m a huge fan of The Commish, it feels to me like you just make up the questions, and while they are funny, I would like to know if you actually get people who write into you.
(blushing) Thanks for the kind words. Yes sometimes people ask Commish questions, sometimes they make them up, we think you are pretty smart, keep it up. Other times Commish takes current events and imagines what goes on in the minds of some people as they wreck the game, or at least try. Commish sometimes asks the questions others should be asking.
They would love for more people to write in and ask them hard questions. Commish's number one motive is the love of the game and presenting hard facts in a fun format to bring sunshine to the dark corners of the tennis world, they don’t mind shining the light, because as a thought experiment they don’t have to take any blowback from the political power mongers that might try to destroy their tennis lives.
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
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